Goodbye Old Friend

Louie and his Uncle Poncho, 2009

I've mentioned Poncho before in Other Stories I've written. I just barely touched on his death in a more recent entry. This is going to be a more difficult story to write, but it is part of our story. Life grows on.

18 year old me, Poncho reluctantly accepts my hug.

I give Poncho big credit for helping me with Louie in so many ways.
First off, you could call Poncho my 'practice dog', and that would be terrible. I'm very lucky to have such a wonderful family who will help pick up the slack during my life's little learning experiences.

I got Poncho when I was 18 and not yet a responsible adult. (Still working on that one, by the way.) I learned from Poncho that if you want an amazing dog, you have to put a ton of work into them. They need MUCH more than food, water, shelter. They need exercise, entertainment and training. They will chew your stuff up, poo on the floor, tear up books and get into the trash if you don't work with them, supervise them and give them enough stimulation.

I thank my dad for helping me raise Poncho. Poncho's amazing obedience was because of my dad. I was working a lot, I didn't have good roommates. I just wasn't really in a position to train a puppy. My dad dog-sat Poncho for me during the day while I was at work for the first year and a half before he just became full time dad's dog. Poncho loved my dad more than anyone, or anything else. They went everywhere together. I would steal Poncho when I went on a camping or hiking trip, but other than that, he stayed by my dad's side from them on.

Time Flies! 
The years went by quickly. A zillion amazing moments. Poncho grew up, I got older. I got a new job, moved a couple of times and got a puppy. Poncho helped show Louie the ropes. There was a lot of running and playing going on and it usually ended with tongues hanging out the sides of dog mouths. I loved it. They loved it. I took Poncho and Louie to the off-leash dog park and let them socialize.The fun never ended.

Poncho went on hunting trips with my dad and brother (appropriately named Hunter) that dogs usually weren't allowed on. They went into the mountains on horseback and camped out for weeks in several feet of snow and Poncho trotted along by their side. He would go to any lengths for his people, and he loved every second of it. A very loyal dog.

Poncho was in seemingly good health.
He was ten years old, so he didn't exactly get around as well as he used to but considering his age he did very well. He had a nice gray beard and was calm and relaxed. That really showed his age, no more hyper puppy that I remember from when he was my dog. He was mature.

He had a check up with the vet and everything seemed up to par. Sometimes we talked about him being an old man, and joked about how he was too old to do stuff, but he still went everywhere with my dad. Everywhere. Either he was by his side off leash or in the truck.

The Day That Came Too Soon.
I was at work and it was about 3:00 on a chilly but sunny February afternoon. My cell phone rang, it was my dad's number. He never called me during the day because he knew I was at work, so I answered the phone felling like something wasn't right. All I heard him say was something like 'Poor Poncho died, I need help.' I don't remember much after that. I drove straight to where my dad was. He was at a job site, a rental house he was working on. I found him on the side of the house, my brother Hunter had just got there too. Poncho was laying on his side in the grass. My dad was kneeling down and bending over him, hugging him and crying. I'd never seen my ultra manly dad cry like that.

I asked my dad what happened? He said they'd just got there, Poncho jumped out of the truck when he got out and went around the side of the house. My dad heard a little yelp and Poncho just fell over. When my dad got to him, he was dead. Heart attack? Most likely. How could this happen so suddenly without some kind of dramatic accident? No blood or gore, no poison or sickness? No warning at all!? Animals can just be fine one second, then fall over and die the next? This couldn't be right. I knew it was, but just didn't seem real. Just like when I'd lost other loved ones. They can't be dead, I just saw them this morning...

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye, to Yesterday.
I made my dad take Louie home with him so he wouldn't be alone and Hunter and I carried Poncho, putting him in the back seat of the car. We drove to my vets office and asked for cremation. I know we did this but it's hard to remember. I was in such shock. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

We drove back to my dad's and stayed with him until my mom could get home. We had just lost a beloved family member of the last ten years. Someone who was there everyday with us. Someone my dad talked to constantly. It hurt me more then anything to think how big of a hole my dad now had in his life. This was going to take a lot to get over.

That was February 2012.
It didn't take long for my husband Paul and I to decide to move and be closer with my parents. My mother stays with my 90 something year old grandmother during the work week about an hour away. My dad was just out there all alone without Poncho. He was very lack-luster and talked about Poncho all the time 'Five more good years, we should have had at least that.' We moved into the house next door by mid July.

Seven Months Later
My dad is finally seeming like himself again, he now has our two dogs he helps with everyday. Plus the cats, pigs, chickens and oh yeah, us! It's never easy losing a pet. We all know that the odds are against them for outliving us. I use this to remind me how lucky every moment I have with my loved ones. I will appreciate what I have while I have it. I will love every dirty paw print, chewed up stuffed animal, and accidental inside diarrhea I clean up. I will love every awful deviled egg fart Louie rips in the car before putting his nose out the window. These moments make me laugh (and gag) and I love it. We are lucky. Tell your loved ones you care.